I finally have the internet in my new flat now so hopefully I will be able to keep up with things now but first let’s have a catch up. 

On May 15th Me and two friends from university put an event on for Different Strokes. We had organised it as part  of our Community Project module where we had to partake in ‘service-learning’ to work with a community to identify a need that we could help with, we chose to make a fundraising video for Different Strokes and put an event on so we could find out what fundraising is like. The event was held at Above Audio in Brighton where we put on a gig with an amazing raffle of gifts donated by Starbucks, Choccywoccydoodah and Universal + loads more. 

We had 3 incredible artists play at the event, Jade Hopcroft , The Poofs & Two Spot Gobi, theu were all great and I couldn’t thank them enough for playing. We’re not sure how many people we had through the door but it was busy enough without being over crowded for people like me. We were charging £3 entry + raffle tickets and it is great to say we raised £435 at the event. We have also been running an online donation raffle with DVDs from Universal which will be kept open untill the end of Action on Stroke Month on 31st May. You can find it here http://www.bmycharity.com/summerstarter so please feel free to donate & thankyou to anyone that has donated already

Finally a huge thankyou to…

Audio, Two Spot Gobi, The Poofs, Jade Hopcroft, Amy Morrice, Natasha Marley, Carolyn Watt, Alex Petrovic, Choccywoccydoodah, Roly’s Fudge Pantry, Lewes Road Starbucks, Jordanne Cliffe, Greg Phillips, Lush Cosmetics, Universal, Ciara Green & of course everyone who attended Different Strokes Summer Starter 

£720 and counting…! We are still working on the video but expect to see it online soon 

So it seems I have been neglecting my poor little blog again and I have SO much to share with everyone so apologies for that. 

Anyway, two weeks ago I handed my production based dissertation in, I wanted to scream and shout and cry and scream, so many people told me it was an anti-climax handing it in but for me it just felt incredible, It might have been a year later than I had planned but it was in and I could hardly believe i’d managed it. I went back to uni just 8 months after my stroke and I didn’t know if I’d be able to get through the full year but with a lot of hard work and naps I did it! I had just one essay left which I finished today and will be handing in on Monday and then I am freeeeeeeeeee!! I’ve been trying to put my dissertation on youtube but it keeps failing so as soon as it works I will post it for anyone who wants to see.

After I handed my dissertation in my old housemate Megan picked me up to take me to Harwich for a weekend with the 7 hollingbury road lambs (lis, anna, megan, me & sarah) for Lis’s birthday. It was so nice to be with them all again, it made me miss my actual third year so much, they were so much fun to live with we never had any drama and they all bent over backwards when I had the stroke. I love them all so much and it makes me so sad that we dont live together still. I like to think when we are old ladies we will all live together and banter. We had a great weekend but for now i’ll make like George and Clooney. 

More to follow…

Apparently the link I posted was wrong & I can’t edit it from my phone so of you care to donate but can’t make our event it’s http://www.bmycharity.com/summerstarter

If you are in the Brighton area please come to this event (https://www.facebook.com/events/327627943966683) that me and my friends have organised as part of our university course. If you can’t make the event but would like to help us raise some money we have set up an online donation page where every pound you donate gives you a chance to win one of many DVDs kindly donated by Universal. http://www.bmycharity.com/summerstarter. All profits to go to Different Strokes a charity set up by young stroke survivors for young stroke survivors. Thankyou 

I don’t even have any words right now

Going back to the very beginning of this journey, way before returning to uni, going to glastonbury or even taking my first post stroke steps, you might remember that after I collapsed as I was crawling to the bin to try and pull myself back up two policemen pulled over to help me. If they hadn’t drove past I can honestly say I have no idea what would have happened, and worst case scenario well…maybe lets not go there.

Since it happened I have wished that I could remember what the two policemen looked like so I could stop wondering if every policeman I walked past were the ones who had helped to save my life. Today I had the absolute pleasure of meeting them. Stuart and Steve Brown (not related) were just like I had hoped they would be, friendly and caring they wanted to know everything that had happened after that day, how long was i in hospital, did I know why it happened, how did it affect me, what happens next. It was a totally emotional experience for me and I began crying when Stuart asked what I could remember and I said I recalled people walking past me and that (as i said) if they hadnt of pulled over it could have been so much worse. After a few minutes I was OK again and we carried on talking.

What shocked me the most was although I remembered more than they thought I would, some bits that I remebered were very different to how they remembered it and lets face it, their version was probably right!! From my memory I was quite coherent, answering their questions and feeling quite tired, the only thing I can remember not being able to say was ‘Urban Outfitters’ and I remember being determined for them to take me to work. In Stuarts memory, very little of what I said was coherent and telling him where I worked was one of the only things he could remember me saying. Steve wasn’t so sure and thinks that they found out were I worked by finding my work badge. It was over a year ago so it’s bound to be a bit hazy for everyone. One thing I asked (before Steve got there) was whether whilst talking to me they realised that I was having a stroke. Stuart said he had thought it but wasn’t sure because of my age but knew it was something serious. For any new readers heres 4 easy steps to recognising a stroke

F - Face, (weakness) has one side of the face drooped
A - Arms - are they having difficulty raising their arms
S - Speech - Has there speech become slurred? Like they’re suddently Drunk
T - Time - to call an ambulance.

so remember to act fast and strokes can happen to anyone at any age (even babies!)

Whilst this was ridiculously emotional for me, I think it meant alot for them too, they told me they never really get to follow up how people are doing and seemed really pleased that I was so keen to meet them so that they could see how I was getting on. They also asked me if they could have done anything differently but I honestly don’t think they could have, they made me feel really calm, reacted quickly and although they asked if I was drunk or on drugs, I understand that I was outside a pub and that for someone my age it would be what first goes through anyones head and is probably why people walkd past me. I explained some stroke facts and how there is a drug that could be administered within 3 hours so that you have to act fast but they acted so quickly anyway there is nothing that I wish they’d have done differently. Their reactions have helped me to recover as much as I have and I am so so thanful to have finally met them today!!

I finally moved house last Monday, I’d been living alone as my housemates had left anyway and I’d been looking forward to getting into a smaller place of my own that wouldn’t be costing£900+ a month! My Mum, Dad and Dads partner, rebecca came to help me move and it was an absolute nightmare, I had no idea I had so much stuff!! I managed to throw away (or ebay pile) most of the shoes I can’t wear. It felt a little bit like I was giving up on the idea of wearing nice shoes again but then I realised its an excuse to buy new shoes when I can! & I did keep my absolute favourite shoes for the special day. They do need re-sole ing though!

I’ve been in the flat for a week now and I absolutely love it, it’s nice being able to leave things somewhere and know when I get home they will be in the same place. Plus my new neighbours seem really nice! A few people mentioned they were worried about me living by myself ‘incase something happened’ but the fact is, anything could happen to anyone at any time and I refuse to live my life in fear because of what’s happened! So I’m risking it for a biscuit, no need to worry about me anyway the doctor said its no more likely to happen to me again than it is to anyone reading this and I bet you’re not worried about it happening to you, are you?

Anyway I have no signal in my flat or Internet so I’m trying to update the blog as much as I can whilst I’m out.

Outside my new house!!

This morning at 9:36 my best friend, Rosie Padley, gave birth to who I can only imagine to be (I havnt seen photos or met her yet) a beautiful little girl. She must be a stubborn one though, being almost 2 weeks late!! 

I was the first person to be told that Rosie was pregnant. She text me one day…this is genuine how the conversation went:

Rosie: I need to tell you something

Me: Is your eggo preggo?

Rosie: Er…Kinda yeah.

She told me less than a week before everyone was coming down for my birthday and it was super top secret. How I kept it a secret for so long I will never know, only talking about it with people who Rosie had told until a few months into the pregnancy. 

I remember talking to Rosie about it, we spoke about everything, what she was going to do about uni, how would she tell her parents and all of her options. There was never any doubt about keeping the baby though and I know that although this wasn’t exactly what she planned, she is going to be a fantastic mum and will have so much love and has a beautiful baby girl, which I guess means I’m alone in the forever alone club now…

This has been especially emotional for me because even though me and Rosie have been friends for around 12 years, she has just been unbelievable since my stroke. I’d be lying if I said most of my friends hadn’t shone brightly for me but Rosie by far shone the brightest. I just hope I can shine as bright for her one day.

On my first night in hospital, when I’m not really sure I truly acknowledged who was there or what was going on, Rosie sat with my mum untill the early hours of the morning, something I know my mum will never forget. AND she was hungover!! She then visited me on an almost weekly basis and continued to visit me when I came out of hospital, at a time when a few of my friends slacked off.

Now I can’t deny that Rosie has always been an incredible friend, when I found myself in London ridiculously drunk and in floods of tears after meeting an ex boyfriend who turns out wasnt worth a second of my time, Rosie cancelled her night out to meet me and take me back to her house. 

When I asked Rosie if she would be my ‘carer’ at Glastonbury, The only person I really trusted to look out for me while she was there (partly because I didnt expect my other friends to take the responsibility as it wasnt what they’d expected when we booked tickwts) Rosie jumped at the chance. It possibly was because of the free ticket but for 4 days she pushed me around in the Glastonbury rain and mud with a smile on her face, not once did she moan when others were moaning within 10 minutes of taking over from her. 

Whenever I wanted to stay with Rosie, she would meet me at Victoria and carry my suitcase, again without a single moan, but this was possibly because of the celebrity parties…

and after all this we went to Madrid together, a prize she won and asked me to go for my 21st birthday but we never got round to doing it until after the stroke. The fact that Rosie was pregnant was kind of selfishly beneficial to me, it meant she wasn’t drinking and neither was I, going out and getting wasted had little interest from me so it was nice to be able to do things with someone who wasn’t wanting to get drunk all the time (well…maybe wanting to but not being able too) 

There are thousands of other things I could say about how bloody brilliant Rosie has been to me but I think I’ll leave it at that for now. What happened to me never mattered to her, nothing was ever more important than how I felt although I’m sure thats about to change now that bean has transformed into Lillie Rose. I will be greatful forever for how Rosie treated me over the last year or so and I’m so pleased to have her, and now her baby in my life. 

Love you Rpadz!!

Today, for the first time in 13 months (unlucky I know) I had my first ‘fall’. When I say first, that’s if you dont count the time I hilairiously fell off the toilet in hospital (not funny at a time when I could hardly sit up), missed the sofa trying to sit down in my first week back at home, tripping on a sandune in Norfolk or falling off a chair in a cafe in Madrid for no apparant reason.

When I say fall, what happened was my toes got stuck under a ledge on the steps into my flat building, I’d already done it on the first step and saved myself but managed to do it again and fell straight on my knees. All is fine though, apart from a tub of coleslaw i’d just bought from Waitrose that burst open. 

Its actually quite nice to know that falling now is not any worse than falling over pre-stroke. I was worried that I wouldnt be able to catch myself and i’d end up with a smashed up face, a la my mum after she tripped up at Paddington station when we had just got back from New Zealand, but it was quite a simple trip, my hand shot out, I landed on my knees with only a very minor scrape here and there. A success if there ever was a successful fall!